Today I stopped and picked up the mail (at the end of the driveway) on my way home from work. This is a big deal for us, because we never go out to get mail! All of our bills and statements are online, so it is usually junk and I guess we think, "why bother." Anyway, I had a bill from my insurance...one of those statements that aren't really bills, whatever. Well, it was titled to "Baby Girl Mirth." It was our bill from her birth, how sad. It was very unexpected, ugh. I guess it leaves me a bit speechless, but I wanted to share.
So I couldn't resist!!! I tried! Yesterday morning I woke up at 4:30 with the urge! The urge to hopefully break our BFN streak and prove to be pregnant. Well, into the bathroom I went, gingerly tip-toeing across the hardwood, attempting to avoid waking up Tim. I slowing opened the home pregnancy test package, praying that what I have been expecting was true. There I was, starring at the test...waiting for the line to arrive (Where else to go during the wee hours of the morning...I was trying not to wake up Tim, or the pups downstairs!). Then it appeared, like a magic trick right before my very own eyes! The faintest of faint pink line. It was so faint, I thought for sure it wasn't real. I bursted back into the bedroom "Tim...Tim...are yo awake?" In reply "Kate, it's 4:30 in the morning, what the heck are you doing up?" "I just took a pregnancy test, there are TWO LINES!" Tim's first reply was "why are you testing already and why at 4:...
oh kate...i am so sorry! I remember signing up online at different pregnancy sites with each pregnancy we had...well we would miscarry and I would forget to let the site know and well just yesterday i got an email saying "39 weeks" and it was hard to remember that is where I would be right now with my fourth if I had not lost them! Reminders like that are hard!
ReplyDeleteThat is very sad. My husband dealt with all the mail from that time, but I know he saw some sad charges as well. =( Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHi Kate,
ReplyDeleteI so understand everything you are talking about, but for some reason chose to comment here. I'm sure it is because we received our hospital bill this week. I thought, gee thanks for reminder of all I went through and the fact that I didn't get to bring home my baby.
I lost my daughter, Ella on 3/15 at 23 weeks probably due to incompetent cervix. I have found these blogs to be so therapeutic. Its so sad to see how many women have lost their babies, but it's nice to know that your feelings and emotions are "normal. " I still have moments when I forget that everything happened and that my baby is still on her way. It really sucks.
Bree