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My dark cloud of anger and pain



Anger floods over me today as I near the date of my first baby shower. I hate that she is gone. I feel so angry... I don't understand it at all! I don't even want to leave the house today. I need to go to the grocery store and I am in desperate need of a hair cut...plus I work the next 3 nights in a row, so I need to get things done! I am simply angry. I am also exhausted...I slept all night and the morning away...and I am ready to go back to sleep. I wish I could motivate myself to clean, get dressed, go to the store, do some laundry and maybe even work on some packing around here. (we bought our first home!) but I am just too sad, too angry and too tired. Will a ray of light ever penetrate this dark cloud of pain?

Comments

  1. Jim and AprilMarch 9, 2009 at 8:18 PM

    Sorry for your rough day! Like you, i really need to get my hair cut too! I hope the zone diet works well for you...its been two months for me on my eating program and its been hard but worth it! The first few weeks will be the hardest, but if you get through it and see the results...you will feel so much better!

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  2. The KloeppingsMarch 10, 2009 at 6:47 AM

    Kate,

    I'm sorry that you're hurting so much. I can't even imagine. I wanted to pass another blog on to you - http://whenhellomeansgoodbye.blogspot.com/

    The Kate in this blog has gone thru something similar, she lost her little boy at 20 some weeks and has been thru quite a bit since. She shows that while the whole situation sucks and seems completely unfair, you do get thru it and find ways to honor your little one while still moving on with your life.

    I'll be thinking about you:)

    Lindsay

    ReplyDelete
  3. Never forgetting GregoryMarch 10, 2009 at 9:48 PM

    I'm so sorry. I posted several entries on my blog about that nasty cloud above my head. It would stop me from being motivated. Try to be patient with yourself. I know there are things to do, but you are a grieving mother. Just be proud of yourself for getting out of bed each day...the rest is extra achievement. My thoughts are with you as this painful date approaches.

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