Skip to main content

Amazed


Everyday I am amazed by how much my little angel has touched the lives of others, and changed my life forever. To those who have lost a little one or know a little one who has passed, you understand the impact these little, tiny babies have on our lives. Although I am selfish and want her here, I am thankful for the gifts she has given me. Through her death I have met beautiful friends, our little angels have brought us together and I know they are smiling.

My mom and dad bought her a beautiful arrangement for the service which contained branches of some sort. Once the flowers had wilted, I decided to put the branches in a vase, I thought it looked fun and contemporary. Low and behold the branches are budding and growing roots. Forgive me, I can't remember what type of bush it is at the moment...starts with an "f"! Anyway, I am very excited! It blooms in the spring, which is wonderful because I can plant it in Zoe's garden. My little butterfly, I love her dearly.

The other day I read a blog of another mother who lost her little one, and she mentioned that time is a cruel joke. I agree. Time has not healed my pain, I am still bleeding. I know it has been a mere 6 weeks, but I feel no release from this wound. She will never be forgotten, but I do hope that one day I will feel happy again. Losing a child is terrible...miserable really. Little Zoelle, my beautiful butterfly, I love you....Mommy will always love you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Beta

So...my level today was 108!!! The nurse said that was a perfect, healthy number...not too high, not too low. Chances are good we have one little charm in there. Which is PERFECT. We won't know for sure until our u/s...but I have been thinking it's one...and a boy. I feel really connected to a little boy, and awhile ago, Zoe came to me in a dream and said we were going to get pregnant with one baby, a little boy, and things were going to be fine. :-) Sweet little baby of mine...comforting her momma even in spirit. It's strange to be pregnant right now...It doesn't feel real quite yet. It does, but it doesn't. I feel really secure about this pregnancy...almost at peace. I feel deep in my heart we are going to bring home a living baby. It's will be strange to be a mother of 2, one in spirit and one here on Earth. I love Zoelle so deeply, and miss her with each breath I take. I wish she was here to share in the joy of this new life. At the same time, the new life

2nd Beta!

Well, my 2nd beta on Wednesday was 308! Super excited! Who knows...there might just be two lucky charms in there. Everyone seems to think we are having twins...even my very fabulous IVF nurse. Only time will tell. One...two...whatever happens, I am just so excited to be pregnant. We have our first u/s on March 22nd where we will see how many we have and hear the little heart beat/s. Yay!! As of right now I have been feeling wonderful! I am having a bit of nausea here and there, but not too bad. I didn't get sick one time when I was pregnant with Zoe, so we will see. For now, just the normal early pregnancy symptoms and I LOVE IT! I can hardly wait to meet this little bean in 35-36 weeks from now! :-) So the count down begins...17 more days until our first u/s. Unlike my pregnancy test...I can't cheat and head to the office early for this one. What is a girl to do...ha!

Dear Uterus

Dear Uterus, In less then two weeks our second pregnancy begins. Please keep our little embryo's safe and nestled tightly in your womb. I promise to provide you with proper nutrients, vitamins and water. Please stay relaxed and happy! A happy uterus makes for a happy mother. :-) I would greatly appreciate you behaving for at least 37 weeks. Dear uterus, I would like you to recite this mantra over and over..."I am like velcro! I am like velcro!" We can do this! Please be gentle with our little peanuts...this means the world to us. Thanks Uterus! Love, Your body!