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Tick-Tock

Waiting....waiting....waiting...

Time goes so slowly when we are waiting...

Waiting...

waiting...

waiting...

Sunday June 28th, I pray that this waiting pays off and we have a gloriously positive pregnancy test! How exciting is that prospect? Of course, I know the long road has only begun after that, but I am excited and hopeful all the same.

Today is a hopeful day. I am hopeful to bring new life into the world. I am excited to be pregnant again, and feel my tiny baby kicking, flipping and moving about. I intuitively feel pregnant...and there are many signs around me that I very well could be. Tim had a dream the other night that I was pregnant! At the same time, I really don't want to get my hopes up or convince myself of something that has not come to pass. Being pregnant again reminds of me of sweet Zoe...she was certainly a mover and a shaker. At our 21 week u/s she was so active, the u/s tech said she was the most active baby of the day! I miss her dearly. Time seems to play a cruel joke on us angel baby mommas. I am thankful I am making it through this alive, yet I hate the time she was a live is slipping further and further away. Next month she will be gone as long as she was alive. A gut wrenching thought.

Zoe gives me strength to press forward and make the best of a terrible situation. I would do this all over again, without question to hold and kiss my precious, beautiful daughter. Through her I find strength to gain optimism in my darkest hours. I am forever in love with our baby...true unconditional love. I am optimistic that our next pregnancy will be different...and our baby will be born full term and live. The thought of bringing our child home sends chills over my body. My guiding light is that somewhere I have a little girl looking out for her mommy.

So the waiting game begins, and even though I know I will be crushed if I am not pregnant this month, I am ecstatic my medication worked and I will try to remain optimistic. (I will have to remind myself of these words, I am sure!)

On another waiting note...the lady called about our pup Sawyer and they were unable to take him to the vet yesterday to have him neutered. I guess the office was closed due to a parvo virus exposure. Yikes! I am glad he wasn't there! So...he is rescheduled for Wednesday and we can bring him home Thursday! The shelter will not let us bring him home with out him being neutered. So...more waiting!

Comments

  1. LeaJune 16, 2009 at 6:25 AM

    Kate - thinking of you.... and you're right Zoe is helping you get through this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. BrennaJune 16, 2009 at 7:27 AM

    Sending lots and lots of good vibes in your direction!!! How I'd love to go through this togther. :) Today's my birthday so I'm on the fence about going to group tonight, but if I don't make it I'd love to get together soon. And of course I'll be stalking your blog for news...
    xxoo
    B

    ReplyDelete
  3. BreeJune 16, 2009 at 8:55 AM

    I love your positive thinking! You inspire me. :)

    I DO think this was your month. But, if it isn't, hope will pull you through to the next month. That's where I am at, at least.

    The 28th is a big day for me too- that's my next ovulation date. Counting down the days too!

    It reminds me of when I was pregnant. My students and I made a paper chain. We cut off a loop each day until I got to learn the sex of the baby. It was fun. Maybe you need one of those. :)

    I'm so excited that you're going to have a new puppy to love on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Never forgetting GregoryJune 16, 2009 at 10:17 AM

    I am waiting with you and cannot wait for that big announcement. I know what you mean about surviving better as time goes on but so sad that our babies are further "behind" us. Hugs. I will be sending you positive vibes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CourtneyJune 16, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    oh the dreaded TWW. I will be taking my test only a few days after you. I really do love that we are on this journey together.

    I know your precious Zoe is shining down on you and your little bean in the making =)

    ReplyDelete

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