Skip to main content

To you...

It's amazing how a sweet little girl, merely 24 weeks gestation stole my heart. It's amazing how much love I have for a daughter who I haven't held, touched, seen, or smelled her sweet skin for almost a year. It's amazing my love for her will never fade, never wither, or never grow old. I will always remember the way you felt in my arms, your tiny body warm and close to mine.I will always remember your beautiful tiny features, a perfect mix between a mother and father. I will always love you my sweet Zoelle. I am thankful for you, and although I know you aren't with me here on Earth, I know I will see you and hold you again. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you, love you and miss you. You are our sweet daugther, and I will never forget you. I am a mother, to you. As your 1st birthday approaches, by heart is heavy. I promise to honor you and celebrate you. Hopefully one day, you will have a brother or sister, and I promise to tell them the story of you. Sweet, Zoelle. I love you, jelly bean.

"When you are dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up in the hardest part." ~John Mayer

Comments

  1. That is such a sweet note. I am dreading the next month and a half. Just dreading. Hoping that with Zoelle at your side you find peace somehow.

    I listen to that John Mayer song now with a whole different meaning since Lukas' passing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Zoe has touched all of our hearts too. Amazing how I've never met her (or you) and I can picture her. I think about her too. What a beautiful letter. You are a wonderful mommy. I hope and pray everyday for Zoe's brother or sister.

    Happy (almost) 1st Birthday, beautiful Zoe! You are loved!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You ARE her mother. I am still amazed at how completely changed our lives are by those tiny babies. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I can't believe it happened to me!

Sometimes I am in complete awe that we have a baby. I am so in love with River and I feel very fortunate! River is a really good baby; She eats great, sleeps well, smiles tons and is easily comforted when cranky. I am really happy to have her here. On the flip side, I am learning all of the beautiful things I missed out with Zoe. Bath time, reading books, cuddling, smiling, cooing, bites of new foods, so on and so forth...the list could go on forever. I still battle with postpartum depression, but I do feel like I am coming out on the other side. My sad days are fewer apart. I still feel terribly guilty that I battle depression. We have tried so long and so hard for a baby that it seems selfish of me to be sad when we have a perfect baby in our arms. HOWEVER, it's not the kind of thing I can control. I still have a lot of depression related to nursing. It hurts me that it didn't work for me...sigh. But, River is super healthy and growing well and at the end of the day, SHE is t...

Breastfeeding or bust

Since the moment I was pregnant I knew I wanted to nurse. I love the idea, I love the thought of holding my baby skin to skin...I love the concept of nourishing my child and watching her grow. Immediately after River was born, my BP dropped when they were stitch me up (i had a 3 degree tear). So when she was wide awake I was not feeling so wonderful. I tried to nurse during that time, but it just wasn't happening. We were able to get a good latch at the hospital...but my nipples were bruising and man-o-man did it hurt!! BUT...it was what I wanted and everyone tells you breast milk is best. Once we made it home, we had an appt with the ped the next day. River was losing weight...normal for a nursing baby. So...we went back 3 days later for a weight check. Still not gaining weight. The doc told me to nurse every 2 hours...to wake her up if I needed to. Okay...I can do this! Back to the doc...still LOSING weight! At this point I had been calling the lactation consultant at our...