Today I miss you, sweet Zoelle. I wish you were here in my arms. I wish you were taking your first steps, trying new foods and giving us kisses. I think of you everyday, and I miss you more with each passing moment. My heart is still broken baby girl. I wish I didn't have to watch you die. I wish we were together going on trips to see grandma and you aunt Em. I wish you were here so I could kiss your sweet face when we put you to bed. Daddy would play his guitar for your, I am sure you would love it. But our lives didn't head in that direction, and I am still trying to understand why. But know that mommy loves you so much. I love you to the moon and back, my sweet baby girl.
So...my level today was 108!!! The nurse said that was a perfect, healthy number...not too high, not too low. Chances are good we have one little charm in there. Which is PERFECT. We won't know for sure until our u/s...but I have been thinking it's one...and a boy. I feel really connected to a little boy, and awhile ago, Zoe came to me in a dream and said we were going to get pregnant with one baby, a little boy, and things were going to be fine. :-) Sweet little baby of mine...comforting her momma even in spirit. It's strange to be pregnant right now...It doesn't feel real quite yet. It does, but it doesn't. I feel really secure about this pregnancy...almost at peace. I feel deep in my heart we are going to bring home a living baby. It's will be strange to be a mother of 2, one in spirit and one here on Earth. I love Zoelle so deeply, and miss her with each breath I take. I wish she was here to share in the joy of this new life. At the same time, the new life ...
xo Zoe xo
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today.
ReplyDeleteOh Kate *hugs* Thinking of and missing sweet Zoe with you!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you **Zoelle**
ReplyDeleteLoving her to the moon!!! :) ((HUGS))
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
ReplyDelete