I have tried to write a post for sometime now, and I just can't get my mind to focus. This past month has super busy with school and work. Sometimes I think I am insane for going back to school. I am working on my masters degree in Nursing to be an Adult Nurse Practitioner. I am crazy, I am sure of it. Sometimes I think I keep myself too busy...busy enough not to think about the painful, scary emotions in my head. But, none the less, I am in school and I would really like to finish...2 more years!!! Yikes. So that's mostly where I have been...absorbed by school, and even annoying work classes. So I am sorry about my lack of comments lately on everyone blogs...please know I have been reading, and thinking of all of you!
On an other note...baby bean is growing, thriving and doing extremely well! We are officially 9 weeks and 1 day! It's going a bit fast! I feel amazing...so different from my pregnancy with Zoelle....where anything that could go wrong, did...and I felt so terrible. Despite all of that, I still loved being pregnant with her. God, I miss her.
We met with the high risk ob on Monday. I am really comfortable there, and feel confident about the care we are receiving. I see my RE for the last time next week then we are officially released to the high risk group. We go back at 14 weeks in which we will start measuring my cervix. If it's looking pretty good...we are going to hold off on the cerclage and continue to monitor every 2 weeks. I would love to avoid a cerclage, but at the same time I will do whatever is necessary to keep this baby safely tucked away in my belly. Amazingly, I am relatively confident this baby is going to come home with us ALIVE and full term. I just feel it. Of course if I allow my mind to drift away too far...my thoughts become murky. But overall, I feel good. It's strange being pregnant with our second child, when our first child is dead. Dead seems like such a harsh word...but it is a harsh truth. My truth.
On a random pregnancy thought...has anyone ever noticed that people are NOT supportive of non medicated childbirth and breastfeeding. Really? I know my sweet Zoelle was small...but I delivered her without any medication. Hell...I sat in the hospital for 10 days contracting without medication. I am sure I can deliver a full term baby without an epidural. I want to! People find that to be a crazy notion. The same with breastfeeding...even nurses I work with find it "gross." Yeah...a couple of the girls I work with think its gross? Really? I find it to be a beautiful gift that only I can provide for my child. What a beautiful bonding experience. I only wish I could have had such an experience with my daughter. I think people think it will be super easy and require no work. But, worthwhile things in life require patience, love and time. I most certainly have learned patience through all of this. Honestly, I don't care what most people say about labor and delivery and breastfeeding. Most importantly, Tim is 110% supportive of me and our families support us as well. At the end of the day..that's all that really matters. I just found it sad that people are so quick to judge of such a natural process. We are actually going to take a class called hypnobirth. We were planning on taking it last time...but we know how that ended. I am excited to start classes! I just want November to get here!!
On an other note...baby bean is growing, thriving and doing extremely well! We are officially 9 weeks and 1 day! It's going a bit fast! I feel amazing...so different from my pregnancy with Zoelle....where anything that could go wrong, did...and I felt so terrible. Despite all of that, I still loved being pregnant with her. God, I miss her.
We met with the high risk ob on Monday. I am really comfortable there, and feel confident about the care we are receiving. I see my RE for the last time next week then we are officially released to the high risk group. We go back at 14 weeks in which we will start measuring my cervix. If it's looking pretty good...we are going to hold off on the cerclage and continue to monitor every 2 weeks. I would love to avoid a cerclage, but at the same time I will do whatever is necessary to keep this baby safely tucked away in my belly. Amazingly, I am relatively confident this baby is going to come home with us ALIVE and full term. I just feel it. Of course if I allow my mind to drift away too far...my thoughts become murky. But overall, I feel good. It's strange being pregnant with our second child, when our first child is dead. Dead seems like such a harsh word...but it is a harsh truth. My truth.
On a random pregnancy thought...has anyone ever noticed that people are NOT supportive of non medicated childbirth and breastfeeding. Really? I know my sweet Zoelle was small...but I delivered her without any medication. Hell...I sat in the hospital for 10 days contracting without medication. I am sure I can deliver a full term baby without an epidural. I want to! People find that to be a crazy notion. The same with breastfeeding...even nurses I work with find it "gross." Yeah...a couple of the girls I work with think its gross? Really? I find it to be a beautiful gift that only I can provide for my child. What a beautiful bonding experience. I only wish I could have had such an experience with my daughter. I think people think it will be super easy and require no work. But, worthwhile things in life require patience, love and time. I most certainly have learned patience through all of this. Honestly, I don't care what most people say about labor and delivery and breastfeeding. Most importantly, Tim is 110% supportive of me and our families support us as well. At the end of the day..that's all that really matters. I just found it sad that people are so quick to judge of such a natural process. We are actually going to take a class called hypnobirth. We were planning on taking it last time...but we know how that ended. I am excited to start classes! I just want November to get here!!
YAY! Thanks for the update :) I TOTALLY believe in natural childbirth and breastfeeding. God MADE us for this (that was my mantra through Hazel's birth). Happy end of first tri, my prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteYay for 9 weeks! So glad things are progressing well and you are feeling good! Keeping my fingers crossed for 31 more GREAT weeks for you! xx
ReplyDeleteBeen thinking about you all!
ReplyDeleteMy whole family is on board with a non-medicated birth as well as breastfeeding. I was hooked up to a morphine pump that I could push myself to administer the meds but I didn't, I wanted to feel everything and I did and I'm glad that I did.
I feel like this pregnancy is going by really fast as well and I can't believe you are 9 weeks already. It's flying by.
*hugs*
I'm so glad everything is going well for you! Way to stick to your guns. I'm hoping to go natural for childbirth and I plan on breastfeeding when my child comes. As you said, it's a beautiful gift that only I can provide for my child.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you Kate! Glad to hear things are going well and you feel some sort of confidence. That's really great. Me too! :)
ReplyDeleteGlad things are going well.
ReplyDeleteI can't comment on the drugs. Since it didn't really matter with my last delivery....I took all I could get my hands on!!!
Glad things are going well! I've missed hearing from you! I can't believe that people can be so unsupportive. Especially with the breastfeeding... I would have given anything to breastfeed exclusively. As I couldn't, I pumped religiously for a long time... even when it meant sneaking into the corner of the room at school! I'm totally for the medication free childbirth... I'm sure it will be an amazing experience.
ReplyDeletepraying for the safe arrival of your new baby...
ReplyDeleteI think that's really great you're going for an ANP. Wishing you the best in that!
ReplyDeleteVery glad to hear things are going well with your little one. Pray it continues to!
I don't understand how people can think BFing is gross. It's what those boobs are designed to do! BFing is such an amazing experience and I loved having that with my daughter and this next time I want to try and BF longer. And for this birth I am going to a birthing center located in a hospital and plan on having an unmedicated birth. I've only ever been induced so this will be a new experience for me!
I don't know why they feel that way about BFing. It is all a part of nature. OK if you are BFing and the child is saying thank you afterwards that may be a bit much. But the bond that also grows between a mother and her child with BFing is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be school too? You go super girl!