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Alone

I am surrounded by friends, family and strangers who are pregnant. I stand alone as the freak non pregnant girl seemingly making those around me uncomfortable. Hell, I didn't even get invited to my SIL baby shower. Really? Are you kidding me? I have NEVER implied that I didn't want to go. Guess what...I am not CONTAGIOUS! You won't catch preterm labor like the swine flu or some nasty virus. My life feels dark and empty right now. I fear I am alone...but sadly I am not. I am friends with grief, suffering, depression and pain. We are old friends and they know me well.

Comments

  1. LeaNovember 3, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    Oh Kate - I am so sorry about your SIL's baby shower. How terrible to think that they didn't even have the decency to ask how you felt about it. Some people just can't get a handle on what this journey is all about. I'm sorry you feel alone....

    Please know we are thinking of you.

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  2. Akul's mamaNovember 3, 2009 at 1:37 PM

    It is amazing how people avoid us. I too feel that people who have little kids or are pregnant prefer to not have me around ... you are right, we are not contagious.

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  3. BrennaNovember 3, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    I'm so so sorry Kate. I've absolutely been in your shoes, and I feel almost guilty to be on the other side right now. I'd love to get together, but I have no idea whether my company would cheer you up! If you ever want to grab coffee or lunch or something, let me know. I'm thinking about you, hon.
    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Debby@Just BreatheNovember 3, 2009 at 4:56 PM

    I am so sorry that you feel this way. You should have been invited to the shower. I had people avoid me when I was getting divorced like they would catch it. I wish that the world would know that you need love, that you need to be noticed and that you need to talk about it. ((HUGS))

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  5. RiffNovember 3, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    Oh Kate, I am at a loss for words. Just know that you, Tim and Zoelle are in my thoughts, especially tomorrow.

    Love to you all, A.

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  6. CourtneyNovember 3, 2009 at 6:20 PM

    Here with you Kate. I should have told you what my SIL said to me in regards to their trying ... it made me want to puke.

    Always here my dear friend *hugS*

    ReplyDelete
  7. DonnaNovember 3, 2009 at 6:22 PM

    That's just terrible! I can't beleive they didn't even invite you!!!! How insensitive and unkind.

    You are absolutely NOT alone!!! We are all here to listen and support you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nan & MikeNovember 3, 2009 at 6:30 PM

    Hang in there sweetheart. I am "apparently" in the anger stage of grief again, so if we have to keep revisiting these feelings over and over to finally get ahead, then I guess we will eventually make it, just know we all have eachother. Screw the family if they cant handle it! Oops, anger emerging, better go. Hugs, Nan xo PS..do you have a husky puppy? so pretty! I have a malamute, he is crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  9. RiffNovember 4, 2009 at 5:36 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. BreeNovember 5, 2009 at 5:25 AM

    Sending love to you Kate. Just about everyday I wish that you lived closer so that we could hang out. Like Brenna, I feel guilty for being "on the other side." I want happiness and pregnancy for you, too! Love you!

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  11. AyaNovember 5, 2009 at 7:19 AM

    Kate. I wish I lived closer to you... so that I can give you a hug, listen to you in person, and cry with you. I'm ALWAYS thinking about you and you are NOT alone. I don't expect you to be optimistic - how can you be? I love the way you are. You are a compassionate person and everyone knows that. They just don't know how to support you and I'm sorry they end up making you feel more upset... -Aya

    ReplyDelete
  12. Never forgetting GregoryNovember 9, 2009 at 9:44 PM

    I HATED being the person who made everyone "uncomfortable" when I was the one who was suffering the terrible tragedy. I'm so sorry you didn't get invited to your SIL's baby shower. That is terrible. I know how lonely you feel. It sucks. I just can't wait to grab you into the other side. You deserve it.

    ReplyDelete

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