I can't believe my FET is NEXT WEEK! I seem to be waxing and weaning between optimistic and pessimistic about the outcomes of this whole process. Most of the time I feel like it's going to work. Why wouldn't it, right? A good predictor for IVF success is previous pregnancy...and although we did lose Zoelle due to preterm labor...I am optimistic the same tragedy won't strike twice (call me naive...but I have to tell myself it is possible to bring a healthy, living baby home). However, I most certainly have my moments when my brain gets the best of me. Last night, I frantically texted my dear friend, Bree expressing my flood of pessimism. She reminded me that this nagging feeling is normal, because the truth of the matter is I have been wounded. How true. Sometimes it hard to just chill the hell out and let this process take its course (I am getting a little impatient quite frankly!). I am doing all that I can. I wish I could see the future and know our baby will make it home safely, but I can't. I wish I could talk myself out of my fear and pessimism, but it lingers. I wish I could say that Zoelle was in my arms, but we all know that is most certainly not the case. So for now...all I can do is count down the days.
9 MORE DAYS!
On a more optimistic note...it's amazing to me that we have 21 embryo's ready to go! How amazing (we are transferring 2 by the way...although a part of me wishes I could talk the doc into 3, I know that is not a feasible choice). What an incredible breakthrough in medicine! Wow! I am overjoyed that there are doctors, embryologist, and nurses that dedicate their careers to helping couples get pregnant. What a wonderful gift. I am truly grateful...and I am super grateful that although my body has it's issues, I was able to produce so many healthy little eggs! Thanks ovaries! Now all I need is for those little embryos to implant and GROW! I keep having these visions of them falling out...strange right? Seriously...the things we think about. And they always said getting pregnant would be easy...ha!
I found this and thought it was super funny!
9 MORE DAYS!
On a more optimistic note...it's amazing to me that we have 21 embryo's ready to go! How amazing (we are transferring 2 by the way...although a part of me wishes I could talk the doc into 3, I know that is not a feasible choice). What an incredible breakthrough in medicine! Wow! I am overjoyed that there are doctors, embryologist, and nurses that dedicate their careers to helping couples get pregnant. What a wonderful gift. I am truly grateful...and I am super grateful that although my body has it's issues, I was able to produce so many healthy little eggs! Thanks ovaries! Now all I need is for those little embryos to implant and GROW! I keep having these visions of them falling out...strange right? Seriously...the things we think about. And they always said getting pregnant would be easy...ha!
I found this and thought it was super funny!
Hello fellow Kate! Good luck with the FET, sending you positive vibes!! I got a laugh out of your "I'll be waxing...", because given the location that might *literally* be true :-)
ReplyDeleteLove the onesie!
Kate...You are too funny!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so incredibly excited for you. I have such a great feeling about this Kate. This is our year. Our babies WILL come home with us!!!!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
I'm excited for you!!!! Unfortunately, we all have lost our innocence, but we still have our hope! I hope things work out for you and I'm sending you good vibes all around! :)
ReplyDeleteI am sending nothing but positive vibes your way. Put the positive out there. I am so excited for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHoping that the FET goes extremely well!!!!
ReplyDeleteKate -- Just wanted to drop you a quick note, and let you know that you have been on my mind every day here lately...I hope you are well and I am sending up prayers for your family.
ReplyDelete