Skip to main content

T-minus 9 days!

I can't believe my FET is NEXT WEEK! I seem to be waxing and weaning between optimistic and pessimistic about the outcomes of this whole process. Most of the time I feel like it's going to work. Why wouldn't it, right? A good predictor for IVF success is previous pregnancy...and although we did lose Zoelle due to preterm labor...I am optimistic the same tragedy won't strike twice (call me naive...but I have to tell myself it is possible to bring a healthy, living baby home). However, I most certainly have my moments when my brain gets the best of me. Last night, I frantically texted my dear friend, Bree expressing my flood of pessimism. She reminded me that this nagging feeling is normal, because the truth of the matter is I have been wounded. How true. Sometimes it hard to just chill the hell out and let this process take its course (I am getting a little impatient quite frankly!). I am doing all that I can. I wish I could see the future and know our baby will make it home safely, but I can't. I wish I could talk myself out of my fear and pessimism, but it lingers. I wish I could say that Zoelle was in my arms, but we all know that is most certainly not the case. So for now...all I can do is count down the days.

9 MORE DAYS!

On a more optimistic note...it's amazing to me that we have 21 embryo's ready to go! How amazing (we are transferring 2 by the way...although a part of me wishes I could talk the doc into 3, I know that is not a feasible choice). What an incredible breakthrough in medicine! Wow! I am overjoyed that there are doctors, embryologist, and nurses that dedicate their careers to helping couples get pregnant. What a wonderful gift. I am truly grateful...and I am super grateful that although my body has it's issues, I was able to produce so many healthy little eggs! Thanks ovaries! Now all I need is for those little embryos to implant and GROW! I keep having these visions of them falling out...strange right? Seriously...the things we think about. And they always said getting pregnant would be easy...ha!

I found this and thought it was super funny!

Comments

  1. Busted KateFebruary 9, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    Hello fellow Kate! Good luck with the FET, sending you positive vibes!! I got a laugh out of your "I'll be waxing...", because given the location that might *literally* be true :-)

    Love the onesie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. KateFebruary 9, 2010 at 2:41 PM

    Kate...You are too funny!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. CourtneyFebruary 9, 2010 at 4:58 PM

    I am so incredibly excited for you. I have such a great feeling about this Kate. This is our year. Our babies WILL come home with us!!!!

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  4. MaggieFebruary 9, 2010 at 5:19 PM

    I'm excited for you!!!! Unfortunately, we all have lost our innocence, but we still have our hope! I hope things work out for you and I'm sending you good vibes all around! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. MaryFebruary 10, 2010 at 11:19 AM

    I am sending nothing but positive vibes your way. Put the positive out there. I am so excited for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BreeFebruary 10, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    I'm so excited for you! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. HollyFebruary 11, 2010 at 4:02 PM

    Hoping that the FET goes extremely well!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AngelaFebruary 20, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    Kate -- Just wanted to drop you a quick note, and let you know that you have been on my mind every day here lately...I hope you are well and I am sending up prayers for your family.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Beta

So...my level today was 108!!! The nurse said that was a perfect, healthy number...not too high, not too low. Chances are good we have one little charm in there. Which is PERFECT. We won't know for sure until our u/s...but I have been thinking it's one...and a boy. I feel really connected to a little boy, and awhile ago, Zoe came to me in a dream and said we were going to get pregnant with one baby, a little boy, and things were going to be fine. :-) Sweet little baby of mine...comforting her momma even in spirit. It's strange to be pregnant right now...It doesn't feel real quite yet. It does, but it doesn't. I feel really secure about this pregnancy...almost at peace. I feel deep in my heart we are going to bring home a living baby. It's will be strange to be a mother of 2, one in spirit and one here on Earth. I love Zoelle so deeply, and miss her with each breath I take. I wish she was here to share in the joy of this new life. At the same time, the new life ...
16 comments
Read more

Testing, testing,...1...2...3

So I couldn't resist!!! I tried! Yesterday morning I woke up at 4:30 with the urge! The urge to hopefully break our BFN streak and prove to be pregnant. Well, into the bathroom I went, gingerly tip-toeing across the hardwood, attempting to avoid waking up Tim. I slowing opened the home pregnancy test package, praying that what I have been expecting was true. There I was, starring at the test...waiting for the line to arrive (Where else to go during the wee hours of the morning...I was trying not to wake up Tim, or the pups downstairs!). Then it appeared, like a magic trick right before my very own eyes! The faintest of faint pink line. It was so faint, I thought for sure it wasn't real. I bursted back into the bedroom "Tim...Tim...are yo awake?" In reply "Kate, it's 4:30 in the morning, what the heck are you doing up?" "I just took a pregnancy test, there are TWO LINES!" Tim's first reply was "why are you testing already and why at 4:...
16 comments
Read more

Our Rainbow!!!!!

Amazing...simply amazing. I am soaking up every moment. I am so thankful for our little girl. So...introducing River Zoelle Mirth 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 22 inches long!!! Labor was long, hard yet amazingly wonderful. 12 hours of labor and just over 3 hours of pushing (these are the things the docs don't tell you can happen!!!) But we did it!!! Our rainbow is finally here safely in our arms.
14 comments
Read more