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baby bean

It's hard to believe I am 12 weeks and 2 day! This first trimester flew by! Hopefully it keeps flying on by. Obviously I want to enjoy this pregnancy (at least as much as possible) but at the same time...I just want to bring my baby home ALIVE. Wow...what is that going to be like. I can't imagine what it will be like to see this little one's eye's open, hear her/him cry, and feel her little chest rise and fall with each breath as I hold her close. I have been listening to baby beans heart beat now for a couple of weeks. It's my daily routine. I take comfort in hearing it gallop away. Being pregnant with this child after losing our first is most certainly a strange sensation. When people ask "Oh is this your first" I will always be true to our daughter...not matter the rude response. When this baby is born, I will always speak of Zoelle and her short time here on Earth that forever changed us. I still harbor jealousy towards others who seemingly conceive and deliver with ease. Sometimes I wish people could understand my pain...even experience my pain. I feel almost dirty saying that...but it's honest and true. I am so grateful for this baby, and I truly feel like he/she is a miracle. This pregnancy has been healthy and unremarkable smooth. I will cherish every moment with this new, very precious life growing in my womb. I love you baby bean.

Comments

  1. Debby@Just BreatheMay 1, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    Even if people haven't been in your shoes they should be able to imagine how they would feel if they were. I don't understand why people can't do that. I am so happy to hear that you honor your daughter no matter what it does to those who ask. I have read many baby lost mothers who will say no and that hurts my heart when I hear that. I am so thrilled for you and can't wait to meet him/her. ((HUGS))

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  2. KateMay 1, 2010 at 4:33 PM

    Thank you! :-)

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  3. MaggieMay 1, 2010 at 6:05 PM

    I will shamefully admit it right now, I think that too... about others experiencing that pain. I just want people to understand where I'm coming from so much and that's really the only way anyone will. I'm so glad everything is healthy and going well! Keep it up!! :)

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  4. MaryMay 1, 2010 at 7:03 PM

    Kate I think about you all the time. I pray that you continue to have a smooth pregnancy.

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  5. Nan & MikeMay 4, 2010 at 10:59 AM

    Hugs honey - happy 12 weeks!!! xxx

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  6. Suzy, Not a Fertile MyrtleMay 6, 2010 at 11:46 AM

    Happy 12 weeks!
    xoxo

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  7. Busted KateMay 7, 2010 at 12:28 PM

    Thanks for the comment on Busted, and it reminded me to swing by here and check on you, fellow Kate!

    Congrats on 12 weeks (almost 13 now), and you must be so thrilled to be coming into your 2nd trimester. I'm so hoping this one sticks for me so we can go through this together!

    ReplyDelete

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