Kate's Corner

This morning I was watching The Daily Show and a very interesting guest was on last night. Barbara Ehrenreich, a seven year cancer survivor recently published the book Bright Sided; How the relentless promotion of positive thinking has undermined America . Ehrenreich notes that during time receiving chemo and radiation, people would spoon feed her positive mantras. "Be positive, it's okay, BE POSITIVE." It got me thinking...do people say these things becuase they don't know what to say, or do people simply not want to deal with others problems? If we ignore the pain others endure, then we don't have to deal with it. Right? Anyone who has gone through a tragic event quickly learns people have no idea what to say. And although I think people mean well, it is much easier to ignore the pain and heartache others suffer by candy coating the situation with cliche statements like "It will all work out, don't lose hope, be positive, it's all in Gods plan or yo...

Zoe, tonight I light your candle along with 50 others to remember you and many other babies who have touched our lives. You are forever missed. Daddy played your song. I love you my sweet, sweet little butterfly.

These past couple of weeks have been overwhelmingly frustrating. My cycle was canceled...when they decreased my follistm dose my follicles stopped growing and my estrogen dropped 1000 in 2 days! I was so disappointed. I truly felt I was caught in the middle of two doctors...one who wanted to see me everyday...yet wasn't there everyday and the other who saw me when my doc wasn't there. The "fill in" doc didn't want to see me everyday and didn't want to decrease my dose. Low and behold...he was right...but a little to late. Sometimes being over zealous with caution leads to...well...a whole lot of nothing in my case. By Friday I was down to 7 follicles and my estrogen was only 800. What a bust. The embryologist felt it was not a good idea to retrieve becuase of the chance of poor quality eggs...after all, my estrogen level took a nose dive south of the border. So what now...more waiting. I can't even try this again until December. Are you freaking kidding me...