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Today's appointment

Well...my follicles are getting close...so it looks like I will trigger tomorrow or Wednesday for either a Thursday or Friday retrieval. My estrogen level was 2000 yesterday (WHOA!!!!) so depending on what it is today, my nurse is going to call me to possibly decrease the dose by half (down to 75 units daily). I am feeling extremely tender at the moment...I definitely know my ovaries are there. We talked about transfer dates today...we are thinking December 17th, Tim's Birthday. Last year on his birthday we had the greatest u/s ever and found out our little jelly bean was a girl. I told Tim we could do it the week before or week after if he wanted. I guess we will see. A part of me thinks it would be really special to share that day again with our future baby/babies...Zoelle would be happy, I am sure.

I have been tearful all day...my mind was so focused on transferring next week...I feel like I ran into a brick wall that I didn't even see. And it hurts, Dammit!

Today is sad. I am reminded of how badly I miss Zoelle, and I am deep the sting of infertility truly penetrates. I know 10 weeks is not that long, however...it is soooo utterly disappointing.

By the way...my right ovary is 14cm in size!!!! Yikes! And I am not even pregnant! (your ovaries should be between 3-5 cm) Last year my right ovary increased to a massive 18cm after I was pregnant! And we all know how that pregnancy turned out...Sometimes I really hate the universe!

sigh...


If I remember...I going to ask for a picutre of my ovaries tomorrow!

Comments

  1. DonnaSeptember 21, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    I hope you are able to get lots and lots of eggs and a really good fertilization rate!

    I know waiting to transfer is so hard to do - but for your own health and safetly it's the right thing to do.

    I think it is wonderful that you are considering doing the transfer on such a special day. I love tying things together like that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Debby@Just BreatheSeptember 21, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    Sound like things are progressing well. I will pray for a perfect baby. Take care & God Bless.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BreeSeptember 21, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    I think December 17th sounds like a wonderful day to make some babies. It will be nice to have those embies tucked inside you before the holidays and Zoelle's anniversary. Thinking of you and Zoe! Let me know how the retrieval goes!

    ReplyDelete
  4. CourtneySeptember 21, 2009 at 5:52 PM

    Oh I know Miss Zoe would be so happy to share that special date with her sibling/s Always thinking of you my dear friend.

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  5. TinaSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:53 PM

    Thinking of you and hoping all goes well. xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    I'm so sorry you have to wait. I like the idea about the date :) Keep us updated on how things go!

    ReplyDelete
  7. JenSeptember 23, 2009 at 7:52 AM

    10 weeks seems like forever when all you can think about is that ONE thing!! I like the idea on the date too..

    ReplyDelete
  8. MarySeptember 23, 2009 at 8:52 AM

    I am on pins and needles with you. Hoping for a very good Dec. 17th.

    ReplyDelete

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