Kate's Corner

So it feels very official now. We had our IVF meeting, our trial transfer to map out my uterus for the real thing (that's funny to me), and all of our lab work. All of my meds are ready to go as well. Yesterday Dr. Gloom and Doom hinted at the fact he thinks it may be best to transfer one...obviously depending on what our embryo's look like. The goal is to transfer at day 5, the blast stage. The key is...will our embyo's survive that long outside of me? If it looks like that is not the case, they will transfer at day 3...which is still perfectly acceptable. After much consideration, I do believe we still would like to transfer 2 embyro's. Transferring one cuts our odds in half. Obviously the goal is a healthy full term baby/babies...but I am not confident transferring only one is the way to go. sigh ...I don't know. I think we will have a better idea once the embryo's are growing. So here's what we have in store for the next month: Zithromax (z-pack) : A ant...

Well..last night we had the group meeting with the Embryologist. Talk about an amazing job! I can't even imagine caring for someone's embryo...holding their dreams, their DNA, their future babies. I am so thankful for this technology and the people who make it happen. As we walked into the meeting I quickly scanned the room carefully with my eyes...not only to find a seat...but to scope out the other future IVF'ers in the room. To my surprise I knew a few people in the room...strange how that works. My biggest fear going through the whole IVF process is hyperstimulation. I pray that my ovaries will behave enough to get the eggs we need yet not get overly zealous! My second fear...NOT getting pregnant the first cycle. I hope I am not setting myself up for disappointment...but I really want this to work the first time around. We are so tight financially as it is...working the first round would be fabulous. However...if we can freeze some embyro's I think I will feel a lit...

Of course...nothing seems to go totally smooth around here. So I take my last active pill today before starting my next pack of active pills and I started spotting yesterday. I am going to call the nurse today...I hope this isn't a bad sign. Ehh...I am sure it is just my body fighting all this hormones, but none-the-less...it makes me nervous. Has anyone else had this problem with the pill? Update: I spoke with the nurse this morning and she said it was perfectly normal to have some spotting and to continue taking my birth control pill. The spotting also stopped. yay! So relieved!

I found this picture on our computer today. Tim and I went to Niagara Falls (like 6 years ago) and while we were there we went to a butterfly conservatory. The first thing I thought of when I saw this picture was Zoe, my little butterfly. I read this at her service... Zoe is my butterfly, bringing the gift of transformation and joy. I have been transformed into a mother, her mother. If I knew a year ago what I know now, I would do it all over to hold her in my arms. Butterflies awaken a sense of joy in our lives and remind us to dance. Like the butterfly, Zoe brought color and joy with her. Her personality was cheerful and innocent. She reminded us that change and transformation in our life is inevitable but growth and change can occur gently and sweetly. My sweet baby...I love you and miss you with each breath I breathe.

As we all know...infertility does not lend itself to accidentally BFP. Actually...nothing is an accident these days...we have quite a schedule full of meds, lab work, appointments and u/s. So here's the plan: Continue with BC August 19th -IVF information meeting August 24th - lab work for Tim and I, plus a trial transfer, and I believe start lupron injections September 4th - Follistim injections September 14th - tentative egg retrieval September 19th - transfer October 3rd - pregnancy test!!! Of course I am scared, nervous and apprehensive....however, despite all of those feelings I am trying to put forth all of the positive energy I can. We have shared this journey with family and a few close friends...and everyone has been so supportive. I am not for sure if people understand how extensive this really is...but I will take thier support reguardless. Overall, we have only recieved one strange comment...refering to this whole thing as a test tube baby. Really? What is this...1980. B...

Our pup is growing up fast! He is super cute, funny, loving and quite the ham. Now...he is no angel for sure...but over all is has been really good. Holy cow puppies are a lot of work!!!!! We love going to the dog park...it has really been our saving grace. He expels much of his crazy puppy energy there...at least enough to catch a nap. Now we just need to teach him to understand....let's sleep in today! haha

Does anyone else find irony in taking birth control before IVF? It's a strange concept for those traveling down this infertility road. I have to admit...although I am really anxious about the upcoming IVF cycle...I am so excited about the prospect of being pregnant. I am hopeful and optimistic. I really think it will work. I LOVE our RE and he thinks there is a really excellent chance we will get pregnant. (secretly, I would love twins) but no matter what...a healthy baby is what we truly desire. I have a feeling our retrieval will be the end of September! So very exciting!!! We are going to the IVF class August 17th, and then shortly after that we sign our consent. That's when they kindly ask you to show me the money!