Wow...I have been a seriously slacker...again. I write on a private blog for River for family, but I find myself writing on here less and less. This blog helped me heal and grow through my grief...but I also know I am never truly healed. Zoe's loss will always be with me.
These days I find myself struggling with balance in my life. I seem to be all over the place. After we lost Zoe I was searching to fill the void in my life. At the time, I thought getting a puppy would help distract my mind...it did. The following year we rescued a second dog. Now here we are with a 9 month old and 2 very high energy dogs. I have an extremely difficult time managing our husky, despite how much I love him. I feel like my priorities shifted in such a huge manner...I don't have the time I once did to attend to his needs. I feel like such a terrible dog owner, but at times I feel like it may be time to find Sawyer a new home. He is such a sweet, loving pup...but his energy level is OFF THE HOOK. sigh...I feel torn. Our lab mix, Holly is pretty easy to manage for me. I don't know. We also have to cats who I have recently discovered I am terribly allergic to. We went on vacation for a week and my allergies and asthma were non-existent!! I walk into our house and I am sneezing and wheezing as soon as I get around our cats. I thought I had some allergies with them, but this confirmed it. We actually found a really great home for one of the cats, and it was very hard for me. I cried all the way to the house and all the way home.
I don't know what to do about of Husky. I would never surrender him to the pound! Never! I thought about trying to get a dog trainer in to help me with some of my frustrations. I think moreover, I am simply in a different place then I was when we adopted them, and my priorities have changed. Do I love my animals....yes! But I am feeling extremely overwhelmed. period!
It's definitely a challenge managing a marriage, motherhood, work, dog walks, cat litter, laundry, dinner, grocery's, yard work...so on and so forth. Sometimes I just want to step back from all of this and make my life simpler. Ironically that is not a simple solution!
I have also been pondering about future children. I would like to have one more, but it's a scary place for an infertile. I feel so blessed to be one of the people who come out of this process with a successful IVF cycle. I am so in love with River and all that she is. I am thankful and appreciative of her. Who knows...maybe one day we will try again. We have 11 embryo's left, so an FET is possible. I will never, and I mean never go though with a retrieval again. WAY TOO hard on my body. I guess only time will tell.
These days I find myself struggling with balance in my life. I seem to be all over the place. After we lost Zoe I was searching to fill the void in my life. At the time, I thought getting a puppy would help distract my mind...it did. The following year we rescued a second dog. Now here we are with a 9 month old and 2 very high energy dogs. I have an extremely difficult time managing our husky, despite how much I love him. I feel like my priorities shifted in such a huge manner...I don't have the time I once did to attend to his needs. I feel like such a terrible dog owner, but at times I feel like it may be time to find Sawyer a new home. He is such a sweet, loving pup...but his energy level is OFF THE HOOK. sigh...I feel torn. Our lab mix, Holly is pretty easy to manage for me. I don't know. We also have to cats who I have recently discovered I am terribly allergic to. We went on vacation for a week and my allergies and asthma were non-existent!! I walk into our house and I am sneezing and wheezing as soon as I get around our cats. I thought I had some allergies with them, but this confirmed it. We actually found a really great home for one of the cats, and it was very hard for me. I cried all the way to the house and all the way home.
I don't know what to do about of Husky. I would never surrender him to the pound! Never! I thought about trying to get a dog trainer in to help me with some of my frustrations. I think moreover, I am simply in a different place then I was when we adopted them, and my priorities have changed. Do I love my animals....yes! But I am feeling extremely overwhelmed. period!
It's definitely a challenge managing a marriage, motherhood, work, dog walks, cat litter, laundry, dinner, grocery's, yard work...so on and so forth. Sometimes I just want to step back from all of this and make my life simpler. Ironically that is not a simple solution!
I have also been pondering about future children. I would like to have one more, but it's a scary place for an infertile. I feel so blessed to be one of the people who come out of this process with a successful IVF cycle. I am so in love with River and all that she is. I am thankful and appreciative of her. Who knows...maybe one day we will try again. We have 11 embryo's left, so an FET is possible. I will never, and I mean never go though with a retrieval again. WAY TOO hard on my body. I guess only time will tell.
well sista, i have to say i really want soy!!! if you get ride of him i will take him!!!! Iu'm also very excited to be a aunt 3 times!!! how amazing would that me:) Oh yeah love this pick of river! I <3 zoe
ReplyDeleteIt has to be hard to manage such high energy dogs and a baby too! We have a dog but he is such a lazy loner dog that we barely know he's here half the time.
ReplyDeleteI love your beautiful blog!
ReplyDelete