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My Beta

So...my level today was 108!!! The nurse said that was a perfect, healthy number...not too high, not too low. Chances are good we have one little charm in there. Which is PERFECT. We won't know for sure until our u/s...but I have been thinking it's one...and a boy. I feel really connected to a little boy, and awhile ago, Zoe came to me in a dream and said we were going to get pregnant with one baby, a little boy, and things were going to be fine. :-) Sweet little baby of mine...comforting her momma even in spirit.

It's strange to be pregnant right now...It doesn't feel real quite yet. It does, but it doesn't. I feel really secure about this pregnancy...almost at peace. I feel deep in my heart we are going to bring home a living baby. It's will be strange to be a mother of 2, one in spirit and one here on Earth. I love Zoelle so deeply, and miss her with each breath I take. I wish she was here to share in the joy of this new life. At the same time, the new life growing in me wouldn't be here if she was living. How do we as parents to children who have passed away wrap our minds around something so deep and profound. Wow. I am overwhelming happy about this pregnancy, and yet still grieving my sweet girl. Although I am not for sure if we are having a boy or a girl...it will be strange not to have another daughter. I can't really find the right words to express how I feel about that.

Thank you everyone for the comforting words. I can't believe it finally happened...after 13 months...I am pregnant again.

Comments

  1. Busted KateMarch 1, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Suzy, Not a Fertile MyrtleMarch 1, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    So excited for you! Congrats!!!!!!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. StaceMarch 1, 2010 at 12:05 PM

    You better believe that I have been checking back like a crazy-lady for an update! I'm SO happy for you. I know it's going to be tough-- like you said, figuring out how to parent Zoe and your new baby will be difficult, but I'm sure you're up to the challenge. :) Like I said, I'm SO happy for you and looking forward to following you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. CourtneyMarch 1, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    YAYYYY. I've been patiently waiting ALL DAY for this post. If I could jump up and down I totally would. Oh my dear Kate I am so friggin happy for you guys!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. J-ROKMarch 1, 2010 at 2:32 PM

    What a wonderful post :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. My Endo JourneyMarch 1, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    OMG-congrats!!!!!! :) What a WONDERFUL post!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. HollyMarch 1, 2010 at 4:39 PM

    wow what a beautiful post! congratulations! I can't wait to follow along in your pregnancy journey :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. MaggieMarch 1, 2010 at 5:17 PM

    Yay!!!! Such wonderful, exciting news!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. juliane2004March 1, 2010 at 6:30 PM

    Congratulations :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. AngelaMarch 1, 2010 at 10:09 PM

    Yay, Kate! So freakin' excited for you, and so glad to hear those beta numbers! I felt like you would get pregnant, and I am so happy you can finally say those words!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Never forgetting GregoryMarch 1, 2010 at 10:21 PM

    Congratulations!!!! I'm so excited for you. I came on here just to see if there was any news for you. I'm so glad you get to experience JOY. Hugs. =)

    ReplyDelete
  12. BrennaMarch 2, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    I know I've said it already, but I had to say it here: CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so excited to follow your pregnancy and to cheer you along. Tatum would LOVE a friend to play with. :) Can't wait for Thursday! xxoo ~B

    ReplyDelete
  13. LizyMarch 2, 2010 at 1:37 PM

    Kate, I am so excited. Blessings on a peaceful journey. Yeah!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nan & MikeMarch 2, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    Congrats honey! And God Bless IVF!! Wishing you all the best and more. Hugs, Nan

    ReplyDelete
  15. KaitlinMarch 2, 2010 at 7:02 PM

    Hi Kate!

    I just started following you on this journey of yours. Congratulations on the pregnancy! That is so so so exciting! I can't wait to follow you through it!

    Kaitlin

    ReplyDelete
  16. HollyMarch 3, 2010 at 10:01 AM

    I just wanted to drop by again and tell you that you have an award on my blog! Check it out :) http://bit.ly/bWkseX

    ReplyDelete

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