Kate's Corner

A friend of ours is an amazing photographer and took some fantastic pics of River. Of course he had a great model, so I expected nothing less. ;-)

Amazing...simply amazing. I am soaking up every moment. I am so thankful for our little girl. So...introducing River Zoelle Mirth 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 22 inches long!!! Labor was long, hard yet amazingly wonderful. 12 hours of labor and just over 3 hours of pushing (these are the things the docs don't tell you can happen!!!) But we did it!!! Our rainbow is finally here safely in our arms.

It's been way too long!!! I have logged on here almost everyday and find myself unable to write much of anything. The words are in my head, yet transferring them to my fingers onto a computer seems daunting. Anyway...things have been good over here. My due date is in 10 days! I can't even comprehend this concept. 10 days!!! I am elated, thankful, blessed, excited, joyful, overwhelmed and SCARED out of my pants!! I can't wait to see her eyes open, to hear her cry. I am so excited to hold her to my chest and watch her nurse. I am overwhelmed with love and excited. I am also overwhelmed for the loss of Zoe. I wish she were here with us, but it isn't so. I am deeply thankful for Zoe's little sister....River Zoelle. I feel honored to be the mother of such beautiful little girls who have shown me so much in so little of time. I look forward to cherishing every moment with River, our sweet Rainbow baby. I can't wait to meet you River! My heart is overfilled with love. ...

Well...for the first time, in a while I had a fabulous, worry-free weekend (worry-free concerning the baby, that is!). My sister and I planned a surprise 50th birthday for my mom (yeah, my mom just turned 50). Might I add, she is FABULOUS!! It was so wonderful seeing the family and feeling like a normal pregnant person. For what ever reason, I didn't think about my cervix or worry about preterm labor or even delivering our baby early. I just felt great and embraced the moment. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. Mom's crazy hat and over-the-hill bib! haha I will be 26 weeks on Thursday! I can hardly believe it myself. I see the doc on Wednesday and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have me come back until 30 weeks. We shall see. I am so excited to say "HELLO THIRD TRIMESTER!!!" What a fabulous feeling!! 25 Weeks! Tim and I can feel and see the baby move all the time now. I am just so in love with this little bean! She should be close if not over 2 p...

Sometimes I fear that life never gets easier after the death of child. I fear I will always be broken by this tragedy. I have to remind myself that over the past 19 months I have managed to wake up everyday and continue to live. That is a huge accomplishment in my book. No one teaches you about grief in school...they don't hand out books about dead babies at the ob. We learn to survive on our own. Joining with others who have been down this path and fought this battle. I just hope one day I will feel normal again. What does normal even mean ? I haven't the slightest clue. I wish I knew. I have been having terrible nightmares of this baby dying. I woke up the other morning with this gut wrenching feel that she was gone. All I know is death...my experience is so much different from the majority of mothers out there. I am so envious of their ability to carry their babies full term and delivery a living baby. Why them? Why did their baby live...and not mine? What if it happens agai...

I can hardly believe it! 24 weeks!! I could only dream to get this far with Zoe...I am so thankful. We still have MONTHS to go...BUT....24 weeks seems like a huge milestone and I am thrilled. I love this little bean growing quickly in my belly. :-) We saw the doc yesterday and my cervix measured 3.0! Awesome. The only negative of the appointment was it did shorten to 2.7 after pushing on my belly. No funneling or dilating just a bit shorter. The doctor didn't seemed too worried since it is still in the normal range (lower side of normal, but we will take it!!!). We go back at 26 weeks!!! 26 WEEKS!!!!! 93 days until 37 weeks!! :-) The countdown continues...

It's hard to believe that I am 23 weeks and 3 days with our second daughter. It's a sensation hard to describe...I wish Zoe was here, but at the same time this baby wouldn't be here if she was. I am so thankful we are moving forward, even if it seems like the the days are dragging by. For now..here are some pics Little Miss Mirth 22 weeks and 4 days 22 Weeks!!! 23 weeks!!!